Exhausted? Yes. Sleep deprived? Yes. Blistered feet? Yes. Happy? Like I’ve never been before.
As I experience more and more of “this beautiful, goddamn crazy, fractured mess of a city, New York” (Mark Ruffalo, Begin Again), I’m beginning to realise that this opportunity I’ve been given to work and live here is nothing short of a stroke of serendipity.
Do you ever think back months ago to recall step by step the domino-like events that put you in the place you are now? Well, I did just that. It’s actually blown my mind how much of this adventure becoming a reality has depended on so many chance encounters, conversations and scenes having to play out in my life beforehand, in the specific way they did. I’m reminded of one of my favourite lyrics from a song in the movie The Prince of Egypt –
‘A single thread in a tapestry
though its color brightly shines
can never see its purpose
in the pattern of the grand design‘
– it’s so relevant! Everything in your life has been leading up to THIS point in the present and although at the time you don’t think anything of it, it’s everyday chance occurrences that intertwine with the deliberate pursuit of your goals that provide the stepping stones to achieving it…
…Which leads me onto something I did this weekend (among other things that you can read about in the next blog). I got a tattoo.
The word serendipity has actually been voted one of the top ten English words that is hardest to translate. It’s basically the idea of something working out in a beneficial way by happy chance or accident BUT when I say “chance or accident”, I’m not talking about coincidence. The idea of serendipity is that events develop and unfold in a way that you don’t expect and end up actually leading you to where you ultimately want to be. Does that make sense? No?..Ok. Think of serendipity as a pure moment of clarity -you’ve been striving for personal goals and results fervently for all your life, yet suddenly you discover that you’re exactly where you need to be and it’s like how did I even get here!?
Throughout my entire teenage life, I have persistently set myself goal after goal. In my head I envisioned a destination upon the completion of these targets, where I would finally be happy and content with who I was, physically and mentally. All the things I did to achieve this ‘happiness’ were quite futile and in fact, prevented me from hopping along those stepping stones to get to the other side, as it were.
It’s only now when I suddenly look back and realise where I am that I’m having this moment of blissful serendipity, realising that wait! – actually, I’ve ended up in a different place, a different direction, surrounded by different circumstances but I’m where I was aiming to always be, happy with who I am.