Q- Who’s guilty?
A- Who the hell knows.
I just can’t understand what it is in humans that makes us constantly seek approval from others in the things we do. One of my close friends always says, ‘Those who care don’t matter and those who matter don’t care’ but despite us constantly regurgitating and repeating little encouraging phrases such as this, human beings seem incapable of escaping the ‘what will they think?’ complex.
Remember in primary school when you’d get gold stars for being good and black spots for misbehaving? Well, the world kind of has it’s own version of that I think, sticking black spots on those who perhaps don’t follow the social norm, people who act or look a little different or even express themselves in a way deemed “weird“, “odd“ or (my least favourite word) “cringe.” Others are rewarded with gold stars for being the way everyone else wants them to be, and that is simply the way it goes. The majority of us have had our fair share of stars and spots over the course of our lives, riding up and down in people’s estimations, coming across “awesome” and “cool” one minute and “embarassing” or “desperate” the next.
Hmm – well, have you ever managed to stick an object on something that’s really oily or greasy? No, because it’d just fall off. So what I suggest is that we all OIL OURSELVES UP so not only the black spots fall off but also, the stars no longer stick to us either because they do not matter in the grand scheme of things. People have the freedom to think what they want about you and they always will, so why waste your time trying to make that opinion more positive?
In the words of Shazza from Bridget Jones’ Diary…
I mean, have you ever hesitated to do something or post something on social media out of fear that others will judge you or laugh at you? They’ll think I’m “weird” or “uncool” or “cringe” if I do this…
Confession —- I have.
In fact, that very worry entered my mind before I started Becky’s Scoop because I’d heard of so many people getting ripped into, laughed at and criticised for their blogs or Youtube accounts. Somewhere down the line, something went awfully wrong and expressing yourself suddenly became “cringey” (that stupid word again).
Now, I won’t lie and say it never bothers me because we’re all human and today (more than ever) it seems to be majorly important, how we are perceived by others. Everyone is more self-aware and conscious of how they appear to everybody else.
But I’m trying to do this thing now where I don’t do things for others’ approval; I won’t do things for gold stars or a pat on the back and if someone tries to slap on that black spot (even if it sticks for a while), I make sure it doesn’t stay on for very long.
It helps me to just remember one simple fact …
- This is your life and it belongs to you. So live for yourself, nobody else.
People will think what they want of you. That’s their business so stay the hell out of it. You stick with your own business because that’s your priority and my gosh, you are definitely worth it.