Women are constantly battling and striving to understand the seemingly alien race of men. We see it in literature, film and even history, yet it seems there is no solution to the ongoing puzzles of the male psyche.
Now, being an English-lit student as well as musician, film buff and Disney fan, I fall into the Hopelessly Hopeless Romantic category – FYI for those of you who don’t know, this is the most extreme of the hopeless romantics. I’ve watched every period drama, fallen in love with all the rom coms, read the Austen classics…am I more clued up on the way men tick? Certainly not.
When me and my girlfriends get together, it seems bizarre that we still presume we can team up to work out what our significant others or potential love interests are thinking. Even individually, when the group chats have ended and the wine bottles have been emptied, many a woman will find herself obsessively reflecting over her actions…his actions…their actions, trying to come to a conclusion about what his behaviour could possibly mean. But I tell you something, wracking your brains for possible answers is like surfing google for a self-diagnosis on pain in your stomach, futile and a one-way ticket to PARANOID CITY.
I’ve never been in a serious relationship but I have learnt over the years through experience that if you are torturing yourself over a man because you’re uncertain about what he wants, how he feels etc. then it’s probably not worth it. I’m quite sick of seeing those close to me being under-appreciated because every single one of us deserves to be made to feel special, unique and WORTH IT by the person we are seeing. (Side note- this obviously applies to men too, however I’m speaking just to the ladies today).
The simple fact is that if you’re with someone who you love (the way we’re meant to love I mean – with every fibre of our being; the love we read about in novels and the love we see in caring, considerate older couples who still adore each other 60 years into their marriage) you are not hard to work out, you are not closed off or a game-player. That’s not how it works. I’ve been messed around and taken on rides around the block, gone in circles, up, down, you name it BUT now I have the test of MAN-MATICS to put me right. If you’re getting mixed signals or being treated in a way that’s confusing you, being blown hot and cold, going to bed with a lump in your throat or pain in your chest because you’re trying to work out what his possible reasons could be for behaving in such a way, then you need to leave the guy and relationship where it belongs, with all those stupid work-you-up-for-nothing-self-diagnosis articles on google. EXIT PAGE and…don’t go back.
I’ve found that it’s not actually the case that men are hard to work out. They’re not a different species or ‘from Mars‘ as the saying goes. They’re from earth (believe it or not), just like us…human. And the thing about humans is that, sadly, we can be very selfish. We’re our own priority and sometimes we don’t think about how our actions or inner doubts can affect others. Men and women who hurt others in relationships are often not ‘bad‘ people, they’re simply human. They might not know what they want, they might have gone into something for the wrong reasons, they might be influenced too easily by friends or family, they might have entered into a relationship with you that isn’t what they expected it to be….Whatever the reason behind their confusing behaviour, YOU ARE WORTH MORE. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel special and who you spend 70% of your time trying to work out like an algebraic equation from high school – I don’t know about you but I gave up Maths a long time ago.